


Falling in Slow Motion

by solidsnakessolidcakes



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Angst, Eating Disorder, Eli-centered, Hospital, M/M, really Mantis only comes in at the end man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-23 16:09:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19704838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solidsnakessolidcakes/pseuds/solidsnakessolidcakes
Summary: Sometimes Eli felt like he was suffocating.Now that might sound dramatic to you but you don't know the full situation. Not many people had. People who cared to listen were dwindling.





	1. Chapter 1

Sometimes Eli felt like he was suffocating.

Now that might sound dramatic to you but you don't know the full situation. Not many people had. People who cared to listen were dwindling.

That was part of it. Nobody really cared all that much about him. He thought he had met someone when he met Tretij but just like everyone else he left. This time there was more screaming about how he "don't need you micromanaging me!"

Another part of it was his rapidly declining mental health. Not to say he was ever really mentally healthy, after all he _was_ abused, but recently it had gotten worse.

In between his depressive episodes he would get happy. Now this may sound normal, maybe even good to you, but it wasn't genuine happiness. He felt like he was unstoppable. Nothing could touch him. It felt like life was just practice that you didn't have to talk seriously.

Oh and he had constant crippling anxiety.

And another part was his repressed sexuality.

He became painfully aware of his attraction to men when he was about sixteen. And sure, progress had started, but being openly gay was still looked down upon. He already felt out of his element around people, being open about that just added a new layer that he didn't want.

Another thing was his shrinking savings. Not many places wanted to hire someone that looked like him.

Now the suffocating feeling didn't come up at just any time. It was mostly before/during an anxious situation, or when he started thinking too much. So really most of the time he was laying in bed.

A prime example was at that very moment.

He was laying in bed curled into the fetal position, letting out loud, heavy breaths in an attempt to not burst into tears. After all, that would make him seem _weak._

_[He left for a reason. Why did you drive him away? Because you're a useless, stupid bitch who can't think.]_

And sometimes the thoughts got a lot more specific. He would take situations and pick them apart until it was his fault.

Tonight he chose a dangerous one.

His capture in Iraq.

_[If you had been more careful they wouldn't have seen you. I'm not surprised they spotted a fat lug like you.]_

_[Why can't you be more like your brother?]_

He wasn't sure what caused it. He didn't feel particularly nauseous or anything, but before he knew it he was stumbling to the toilet and puking up his admittedly small dinner.

The sensation was... strange. Just like that the thoughts were gone and looking down at his half digested good made him feel... powerful.

That was the start of a new fun label to call himself.

Survivor of an eating disorder.

Each day he ate less and puked up more. His arms felt like gelatin.

He was lifting weights when he passed out. Apparently his neighbor heard the thud because he woke up in the hospital.

He glanced around the room to see mostly whites and grays, and that he was hooked up to a few different machines.

A nurse walked in, making surprised eye contact.

"Ah- Doctor! he has come to!" She turned back to Eli with a smile, "I'll be right back with a meal for you."

As the nurse walked out a doctor walked in, grabbing a clipboard along the way.

"So, Mr, uh, Eli, you've been recovering remarkably well. We contacted your last employer and got your emergency contact. he said you wouldn't benefit from a mental institution so he'll be here tomorrow to check you out."

Well, shit. He put Tretij down as his emergency contact.

The nurse walked back in holding a tray with a sandwich, a plastic cup, and a small thing of jello. She set it on his lap with a smile. He didn't smile back.

* * *

The next day he was on guard as soon as he woke up, which was, of course, six am, as usual. That habit had ingrained itself in his head since he was a child.

By the time he heard the heavy footsteps of what sounded like heeled boots he was practically having a silent meltdown.

At first when Tretij walked through the door he didn't recognize him. His hair had grown. A _lot._ It fell all the way down to his waist in a fizzy mess.

The brief moment of confusion disappeared completely when the sudden familiarity of sharing his head with someone washed over him. He even grinned.

"Eli what did you _do_ to yourself?" The mildly disgusted tone was so much different from the shaky, broken English he was used to from when they were younger that his smile dropped.

"Nothing- and don't call me that!"

Tretij scoffed, sitting down next to his bed.

"You need to eat, Eli. That's not something you can avoid."

"Says you! You-- you look like a walking skeleton!"

Tretij rubbed his forehead, taking a long, deep breath.

"Come on, I'm taking you home." He got up, standing off to the side as the doctor removed the IVs.

Eli clambered out of bed ungracefully, standing next to his old friend. He blinked, standing taller.

"What the hell?! When did you get taller than me?"

"Short people grow, Eli."

"I told you to stop-" he would've finished the sentence if Tretij hadn't started walking away.

"On the topic of names, call me Mantis now." ~~Tretij~~ _Mantis_ waved a dismissive hand, nearly hitting Eli.

"Then call me _Liquid_."

"That's silly."

"No it's not!"

He just scoffed again, leading him outside.

"Wait- I have to pay-" Eli started to turn around before Mantis sighed, placing a hand on his arm.

"Don't worry, they've forgotten to ask you," His voice tingled with mischief, and if his face were visible Eli was certain he would be grinning halfheartedly.

He didn't let go of his arm as he lead him to an old, beaten up grey car. Then he finally let go, and it hit Eli how warm his hand was.

"Get in." He said dismissively, opening the driver's door and hopping in. Eli sat there dumbly for a few seconds before scrambling to join him.

They drove in tense silence, with Mantis conveniently making people "forget" that it was a red light just long enough for him to run it. In fact, he broke a lot of driving laws.

"Um... Mantis, this isn't my apartment..." Eli said nervously, picking at his nails before promptly scolding himself.

"Yes, you're going to stay with me for a couple days. We need to catch up, and I don't trust you to not starve yourself again."


	2. Chapter 2

Living with Mantis was... awkward.

The very first night he was there he was jolted awake by a PTSD-fueled nightmare, which was normal when he lived alone. But now as he sat awake on the surprisingly clean couch he just knew Mantis could hear his thoughts of _[maybe I should stay in Mantis' bed for the night?]_. The worst part was when Mantis himself cut into his thoughts to tell him to get his ass up there.

And, like Mantis said, they had a lot to catch up on. But they hadn't yet. Eli had been there for two days now.

Apparently Mantis had a job, a well paying one at that. He disappeared for about half the day and reappeared at around five. Eli never really asked where he went, he just accepted it. He always found something to do anyway.

Today he managed to entertain himself with magnets. For the last hour. Not very exciting but it was enough to keep him busy.

He didn't even realize Mantis was sitting next to him until he spoke up.

"So, Eli. Do you have any questions for me?" Eli essentially jumped out of his skin, dropping the magnets. Mantis let out a short breath that might have been amusement for just a sigh.

"uh... Yeah, do you have a job?"

"Yes, I work for the FBI."

"Oh. Um... Wh... Why does our-um, why does our connection feel different? Like, before I kinda, like, had some, uh, leeway? If that makes sense? I could see into your head at least a little. But now it just, feels, like, I don't know how to describe it... empty? Like I know you're there but I just..." He shifted uncomfortably, scratching the back of his neck.

"Eli, I'm no child anymore. What you might be feeling is me not blindly trusting you in every decision you make." Mantis' tone was cold, brief and dismissive. And despite Eli not expecting any kind of answer, he still managed to say the exact things he didn't want to hear.

"Oh." He tried not to sound as hurt as he felt, even if it was useless. After all, there's no hiding from a telepath.

"If it makes you feel any better, what I said before I left was just an outburst. As soon as I left I regretted it."

Silence hung heavy in the air for a few seconds.

"...Then why didn't you contact me." It came across as more of a statement than a question, and for once Eli got the satisfaction of leaving Mantis speechless. "Just. Take me home please."

"Alright. Let's go then. I am going to check on you every day, of course, I don't want you pulling that kind of stunt again." He recovered quickly, waving a hand as he usually did. Eli just nodded numbly.

They walked out to the car in silence. And drove. Unfortunately it was a long drive, even with the broken laws, since Eli lived on the other side of town.

When Eli got home he just sat down. He didn't have anything to do, after all.

The suffocating feeling was back, and worse than before, and the worst part was that he could still feel Mantis in his head.

He didn't eat dinner that night.

* * *

Sure enough at five-ish the next day Mantis arrived at his door.

"You didn't eat dinner last night. Honestly, Eli, if you don't want me treating you like a child at _least_ take care of yourself."

Eli just grumbled in response, letting his hair down from the ponytail he had it in while he exercised. Mantis took a long, deep breath that was either from guilt or exasperation. Knowing the _new_ Mantis, probably the latter.

"I can make you soup, a salad, or pasta. Pouting and saying nothing is not an option." It almost sounded like he was trying to banter with him. It didn't really work, as Eli just shot him a short glare as he used a dirty shirt to wipe the sweat off his face.

_[You can read my mind, asshole.]_

"Pasta it is then."

Eli settled on the couch, still grumbling to himself. Then, suddenly, unexpectedly, he felt guilt creeping up his ribs. But it wasn't _his._

"Mantis if this is your attempt at guilt tripping me then it's not gonna work!"

Mantis didn't come by after that. Sure, they still lived in the same city, they knew the other was _alive,_ they just... didn't talk. And somehow that managed to be more painful than getting screamed at and _then_ abandoned.

Eventually, just when Eli was running out of money, (not to say be had much before) he got a letter.

> Dear Mr. Eli,
> 
> We would like to invite you to join the ranks of Special Operations FOXHOUND.  
> You will first work alongside drill instructor Benedict Miller, and if you make it  
> high enough, you will work alongside our leader, Big Boss.

At the end of the letter there was a number to call.

Eli scoffed, rolling his eyes. Like he wanted to work for _Big Boss._

But he did need the money. And it would take him far away from Mantis. Plus, if he did meet Big Boss, maybe he could surpass him once and for all!

That night he has an awkward chat with a suspiciously familiar voice. The next week he flew to Alaska.

They kept him as a trainee for a _frustratingly_ long time. Even when he got into missions they were just mundane. The worst part was that "Benedict" was really just Kaz bullshitting.

Oh, and _of course_ they give the mission to defeat Big Boss once and for all to his _brother_. And _of course_ it wouldn't be the real Big Boss, it had to be V, who, as far as Eli was concerned, did nothing wrong.

He was not surprised when, After _years_ of waiting, they made him leader of FOXHOUND.

From there it was a simple task of finding his allies. The first to jump out at him was an interviewee by the name of Viktoria, later given the come-name Sniper Wolf.

He wasn't certain if it was because she reminded him of Quiet or what, but before long they were surprisingly close.

The second was an agent that had been there long before Eli, by the code-name Decoy Octopus. Shortly after, his boyfriend Vulcan Raven. Apparently all the allies he brought in were equally, if not slightly less gay than him. Which was quite nice actually.

He was doing a second round of interviews when it happened.

Suddenly he wasn't alone in his own head anymore.

_[You're here.]_

His mental voice sounded as conflicted as he felt. He really didn't leave Mantis on a good note, but somehow he was still hopeful that his childhood friend was in there.

[I think you mispronounced 'your hired']

He actually laughed softly into the empty room. It felt damn good to have a connection between them again.

And he didn't let that go for granted until the day he died.


End file.
